theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
