I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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