Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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