im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
