so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
