So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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