would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
