so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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