she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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