i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
