Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
