He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
