hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
