apparently the secret to your success is patron
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
