Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
