I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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