I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize