Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
