I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
