I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Randomize
