if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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