You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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