hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize