did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
