Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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