New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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