why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
another moral hangover. fuck.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
