You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
