You can't special order awesome
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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