As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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