Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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