normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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