My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
