I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
