and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize