dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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