you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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