Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
