i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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