Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
