Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
