I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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