I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
