How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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