I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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