Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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