don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Found your dick twin last night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
