my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
