For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
