yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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