:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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