if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
