I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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