Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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