I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
