Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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