My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
