Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
