She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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