i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
